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Rev. David R. Sheppard
Wedding Officiant
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On This Site
Who I Am
Services Offered
Points To Ponder
Wedding Service Order
What Others Have Said - Testamonials
Principles For A Successful Marriage
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Hello, and thank you for considering me as your officiant for your wedding service.
I am an Independent Christian Minister serving others from my home. My wife and I have lived here for some time and have done a great many weddings including traveling to other counties, Missouri, and even Indiana to perform weddings.
My ministry focuses on providing wedding services for couples who do not have a regular church they attend, yet want a religious service; couples who are blending faiths; and couples who want their wedding in a non-traditional setting, such as a back yard, park, banquet center, historical landmark, or other meaningful location.
I am a second generation pastor and grew up here in the Monmouth/Galesburg, Illinois area. My father was an Independent Christian Minister since before I was born. Having grown up in the church I was able to get a great deal of experience even before my own ordination.
Our weddings are non-denominational, meaning they are not taken solely from any single Protestant denomination. There are elements taken from several of the Protestant services. The wedding service is a decidedly religious service, with all the elements that would be contained in a wedding service done in a church.
If you are interested in having me officiate at your wedding you can call or email and I will send you an informational packet to help with your decision. This packet will be sent to you at no cost and with no obligation.
While I do not require a couple to go through a counseling program, I always highly recommend that a couple spend time with a qualified Christian counselor. Today’s divorce rate is near 50% for those couples who do not seek pre-marital counseling, and even higher if either of the couple has been married before, or if the couple has lived together before getting married. Enclosed in your packet is some information to help you prepare for your lives together. I sincerely hope you take the time to read it together and discuss the material. While you are currently convinced this cannot happen to you because you are “in love”, please keep in mind I never married a couple who stated their intent was to get divorced.
Again, thank you for considering me as your officiant. May God bless you and keep watch over you especially during this time.
In His service,
Rev. David R. Sheppard
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Weddings Perormed At Your LocationServices Offered Include:
Weddings Baptisms Consulting Guest Speaking Renewal of vows Blessing of a Civil Marriage Formal Or Informal, You Can Have Your Non-denominational Service In A Park, Banquet Center, Home, Backyard, A Landmark Location, Or Almost Anywhere Contact me via E-mail or at 309-299-6352.
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POINTS TO PONDER
These are some things you should discuss as a couple, prior to your marriage:
><> Your partner is full of flaws. While you may not see them now, through the eyes of romance, we are all less than perfect. We each have flaws and quirks that can, over time, rub on another person and create disharmony in a relationship.
><> There are some things about your partner that will never change. Marrying someone with the idea that, “I can change them after we’re married”, or “They’ll change after we’re married” is wishful thinking at best, and self-delusion at worst. In the very act of becoming a couple, mature people do alter some aspects of their behavior in a relationship, however, the things your partner alters may not be the things you had in mind.
><> Some morning you will wake up not liking your partner. This feeling may last for an hour, a day, a week, or longer. When this happens, do you have enough in common to keep you going until this passes?
><> Who is going to handle the money in the household? Under what terms and conditions will the money be handled? What about previous debt, how do you handle debts incurred before the marriage? Do you already have a budget worked out by both of you? Do you have a plan for handling credit cards, loans, etc? Do you feel a need to keep every dollar separate? Is it more important to have “your money” instead of realizing that it is all one household? This may be a sign that you’re not ready to join lives, if you cannot join finances.
><> What about children? Who wants them, how many do they want, how soon, are you financially ready as a couple, are you emotionally ready as a couple, do you have enough space for children, etc? If there are already children involved, who does the discipline and under what conditions? Will each of you back up the other in a disciplinary situation?
><> What about in-laws? Who gets visited on what holiday, who comes over when and stays how long? Who drives on visits, who plans the trip, is there trip money built into the budget? Do you even like your partners’ family? If not, how do you handle this problem?
There are many other subjects a prospective husband and wife should discuss. These are a few of the “hottest topics” that come up in counseling sessions. It is always wise for a prospective couple to seek third-party counseling and advice before making a large decision such as marriage. Naturally we suggest a Christian counselor, but do seek the advice of someone who can help walk you through some of the bumps you are due to face in life, before you get there.
As always, having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and making Him the focus of your marriage will go a long way toward stability. If your marriage is focused on serving Jesus there is less room to focus on minor problems. The most intimate thing a couple can do together is sincerely pray, and take their life, their marriage and their problems before the throne of God.
“…those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness.” Proverbs 14:22
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Opening Statement
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here...”
Address to the Couple and/or Scripture Reading(s)
“I require and charge you both...”
Opening Prayer
“Gracious God, always faithful...”
Leavetaking
“Who presents this woman...”
Questions of Intent
“Will you have...”
The Vows
“I take you...”
Exchange of Rings
“This ring I give you...”
The Lord’s Prayer - Optional
Benediction
“The Lord bless you and keep you...”
Declaration of Marriage
“Before God and in the presence...”
>All statements are examples only and are not necessarily
the literal phrasing of that portion of the ceremony.
Readings and special music can be inserted where appropriate.<
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What Others Have Said
Thanks for a lovely ceremony. Everyone enjoyed it! We had lots of good comments. Thank you! Jack & Becky
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Dear Reverend Sheppard,
Just a note to say a special thank you for the lovely ceremony. Your candle lighting readings (and your fathers) made it very memorable. It was amazing how you took a couple you barely knew and made it such a sharing event. Many of the guests thought you were our minister because of the repartee you had with Kari & Greg.
Please add my name to your list of references.
Lynn R. (mother of the bride)
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Rev. Shepherd,
Thank you for the wonderful service. We also want to thank you for being a part of our special day. Everything was great. It was our pleasure making your acquaintance.
Darla & Nathan
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Dear Lois & Dave
Thank you for coming all the way from St. Louis and performing our marriage ceremony. It means a lot to Jon & I to have special friends share this day with us. …It was a beautiful wedding and day… Thank you.
Jon & Mary
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Thanks so much for coming to our home and making our wedding so comfortable.
Bob & Breezy
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Thanks for your participation. We had a wonderful wedding and everyone was very complimentary of your service.
Mike & Jennifer
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Rev. Sheppard –
We wanted to express our thanks for the ceremony. It was exactly what we wanted and afterwards everyone had only nice things to say.
Byron & Annie
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Dear Rev. and Mrs. Sheppard During this Christmas, our first as a married couple, our thoughts turned to the wonderful wedding you oversaw this past January. Your presence and guidance made the day all the more special. Ethan & Rita
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Dear Reverend Sheppard,
Just a little note to say thank for officiating at our wedding. We really enjoyed the ceremony. It is something we will cherish for the rest of our lives.
Rob and Kathleen
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The service you performed was so blessed and wonderful. Thank you so much. Terry & Debbie
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Thank you for performing our wedding service. We think you were very professional. We were very satisfied.
Christopher & Roseann
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Thank you so much for the beautiful service you prepared for our wedding. My family loved the Bible selections and the wonderful way you conveyed the meaning of marriage.
Rich & Vicky
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Principles For A Successful Marriage
by Rev. David Sheppard
Many couples experience strife in their marriage. This often results from not knowing how to relate to each other. Our society provides thousands, if not tens of thousands, of so-called examples of what a loving couple is. In books, movies, plays, and television shows we are exposed to a writer’s concept of what sells. In almost every case there is strife, a breakup or near breakup, and resolution at the end followed by the traditional ‘lived happily ever after’, either stated or implied. One look at our society where the divorce rate is above 50% tells us that there is a reason this is called fiction.
There are thousands of books, magazine articles, TV shows and others ready to tell you how to live your life, save your marriage, solve all your problems just do what they say. The problem is – most of them contradict each other.
There is one book, however, that has the effective program on how to treat your spouse. No matter how you feel about the Bible, the morals and concepts outlined there work every time they are correctly applied. No-one yet has come up with anything better. With that said, please try to get past the ‘religious’ aspect, if you must, and pay attention to the concepts.
Let me be clear up front; this is no ‘magic fix’. There is nothing here that says any of this will be easy. Some of the concepts you will run into are contrary to our current societal acceptable behaviors. We live in a society that has a sound-bite quick-fix approach to everything. We are encouraged to ‘look out for number one’, to get ahead no matter who gets stepped on, to think about ourselves first, and sometimes only. NOT ONE of these concepts contributes to a successful marriage. Having a successful marriage takes work, commitment, and perseverance. If it was easy, anyone could do it; and with a divorce rate above 50%, obviously not everyone can, or is willing to, do it.
There are two main themes that run throughout on how to treat your spouse. They are love and selflessness.
Let’s see how those are expressed:
… clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Sounds easy, except when you’re upset with your spouse. That is when you need to practice these traits the most.
Compassion – sympathy for the suffering of others, often including a desire to help. Are you making your spouse suffer, or contributing to their suffering; do you truly desire to help?
Kindness – the practice of being, or the tendency to be, sympathetic and compassionate. Are you sympathetic, do you see the problem from your spouse’s viewpoint; do you try to see how they are affected by your action or lack of action?
Humility – the quality of being modest or respectful. Are you modest? Are you the only one who can be right? Do you have the only correct viewpoint or solution? Do you respect your partner’s thoughts, ideas and opinions?
Gentleness – having a mild and kind nature or manner. Are you mild and kind or do you need to yell and get physical? How does that affect your relationship? How would you respond if you were treated the way you are treating your partner?
Patience - the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties. Is this you, and if not, why not?
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Forgiveness - the act of excusing or pardoning another in spite of his slights, shortcomings, and errors. As a theological term, forgiveness refers to God's pardon of the sins of human beings. God is willing to forgive you even though you don’t deserve it because he loves you. Forgiveness is one-way. It is an action you take irregardless of the actions (or lack) of another person. You have chosen a life partner whom you love. You will both make mistakes, some more serious than others. You need to cultivate the ability to forgive despite your feelings about whether it is deserved or not. Remember, the definition says ‘in spite of slights, shortcomings and errors’.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Col 3:12-14,18,19 NIV
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Submit - to accept somebody else's authority or will. I can hear you yelling now. This is one of the least understood concepts in the Bible concerning husbands and wives. To start, look at the first line that everyone ignores. Submit to each other. This is a two-way street paved with love and respect. Submit is the trigger word in these passages because it is a word that is not used in our society much and when it is used, it is not used in a positive way. If you think about it, however, you “submit” to traffic laws every time you stop for a red light. You “submit” to your boss every time you agree to work on a project he assigns you. You “submit” to your spouse anytime you agree to run a requested errand, take out the trash, or perform any requested task. Our entire society runs on “submitting” to others in one fashion or another. But, when that word is dropped into a marriage situation, it suddenly becomes unacceptable and causes knee-jerk yelling and rejection. Also, everyone ignores the conditions (yes there are conditions). The first one is in the passage above: “as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything”. Note, “as the church submits to Christ”, this means you submit to your husband in everything that follows Christian principles. You do not submit to be beaten or abused, to be involved in something illegal, or to participate in any non-Christian acts. The second condition follows:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Eph 5:21-25,28-29,33 NIV
These are the restrictions on the husband: to love his wife as Christ loved the church, and to love her as he loves himself. Christ allowed himself to be railroaded in the courts, tortured and killed so that His church could exist. The husband is to love his wife enough to endure anything to protect her and see to her welfare. He is to love her as he loves himself, therefore he is not to ask her to do anything that will harm her, either physically or emotionally. His primary goal in the marriage is to be her happiness, not with things, but with love, care and devotion. Wives, under those circumstances, it should be easier to submit to and respect your husband.
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Cor 7:3-5 NIV
These verses bring home that selflessness is at the core of marriage. You are not to deprive your spouse access to you sexually except by mutual consent and then only for a short time; such as a physical or medical condition. The statement here is very specific in seeing to it that this works both ways to foster mutual respect and selflessness.
The above are not easy concepts to incorporate into our modern world.
“When Mrs. Edison insists, I always give in,” said the electrical wizard, “and when I insist she always gives in.” “But,” he was asked, “what happens when you both insist?” “We have had the good sense never to insist at the same time,” he answered.
Marriage is a partnership. The idea of submission and the male being the head of the household is out-dated and not politically correct by society’s standards. But our society has over a 50% failure rate with its standards. Our society looks at the words being used and ignores the concepts behind the words. When the motive behind the words and concepts is to treat your spouse with Christ-like love and respect, the words lose their unpleasantness.
Love should be the only boss. But love never commands – it entreats. Love never insists – it pleads. Love never surrenders rights -- it grants favors. Love never fights for itself – it fights for the happiness and good of its mate. Differences are bound to be encountered in life; how shall we solve them? One of the simple rules for the nurture of love must ever determine the answer. “Always seek your lover’s greatest good and happiness, rather than your own.”
One of the hardest things for us to realize is that love, true love, is not (contrary to Hollywood) a feeling. Love is a behavior. God loved us enough to tell us exactly what love is:
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
In God’s full definition of love, there is not one reference to how a person feels on any given day. There are, however, the requirements for how a person should act regardless of momentary, fleeting feelings. If love were dependant on our feelings, people would fall in and out of love with their spouse, or their kids, or both a dozen times before breakfast. Love and marriage are for the long haul.
This topic is not one that is as simple in practice as it is to say. This is a classic case of “Easy for you to say”.
There are a great many resources out there. There are clergy who do couples counseling, there are Christian counselors, any Christian bookstore will have many books on marriage, and there are others. On the web, some of the helpful Christian sites are:
http://familylife.com
http://www.family.org and
http://www.hopefortheheart.org
The concept of “counseling” has taken on the meaning of something you do when there are unsolvable problems. However, counseling is just as appropriate to prevent problems. Today we take courses to learn how to do a great many things; drivers ed. to be able to properly drive a vehicle, training at work to acquire a new skill, trade and vocational schools to learn specific skills and many more. Why would you not take a course in ‘wedding ed.’ to learn the skills to have a successful marriage?
I hope you have come away from this with some information and concepts that will help you and your spouse to have a long, happy marriage.
May God bless you and yours and keep you near Him always.
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Contact me via E-mail or at 309-299-6352
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